Yes, I Have a PenisYes, I Have A PenisYes, I Have a Penis8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Do not assume (if I hold the door for you),
that I am making a statement
about your inabilities
to open the door for yourself.
If you hold it for me,
I'll say 'thankyou'.
Do not assume (if I pay for the meal),
that I am underestimating
your earning capacity
as a woman.
If you invite me out for a meal,
Do not assume (if I defend your rights),
that I am belittling
the attempts that you have made
to defend your rights yourself.
If you defend my rights,
I'll consider you human.
10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
10. Never use English around him instead, bark.
9. Call him a space heater.
8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners.
7. Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet.
6. Inform him that real men sparkle.
5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage.
4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesnt find him hot.
3. Inquire as to how Leah is and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella.
2. Ask him if he likes to do things doggy style.
And the Number One way to annoy Jacob Black?
1. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human.