crush me back to sleep

i am a frayed


remnant brought up from the deep
i am

                                                  i am i am i am
                                                  not sure i am

anything without the pressure
lullaby as dark as
the fragments of a cold dream

that kind of cold that eats
into your bones and you can't
forget it forget being
asleep wishing

it would last
as long as winter and winter lasts
forever in the deep

where i am


here whispers sun
falling fraying
my edges torn apart i can't
hold together in the light let me

come apart you don't have to watch


i'll rip myself into flowers and false
green hearts they aren't
right like i am

not right

i am awake     crush me back to sleep
blind me bind me sinking
is easier than swimming up


if i greet the sun
it devours me i am
helpless i deserve to be

a vagrant in winter pieces
held together by the dark
insides not quite right all aglow
and foundering and

held together
in the sun i am

something new, afraid
of threads coming loose, raveling
back into hearts and something
green

awake

with eyes